“You can’t always get what you want…”

Mick Jagger sings “You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes well you might find, you get what you need.” There is great wisdom in these Rolling Stones lyrics.

Several years ago, I had an experience that really helped me understand the importance of letting go and trusting that everything happens for a reason. I was auditioning for a musical and had my heart set on a certain lead character. Now this character was supposed to be a great dancer and sang a particular song that I really wanted to sing. Dancing is not my strongest suit, but I figured with practice I could make it happen. However, I ended up being cast in a supporting role instead of the role I really wanted.

At first, I really struggled with feelings of inadequacy, hurt and anger. I tried to push away the feelings of jealousy every time I heard my cast mate sing the songs that I wanted to sing so badly. I didn’t want to feel these feelings. I participate in theatre to bring joy into my life and feed my soul, so I knew I had to change my attitude.

Every morning on my drive to work I would do a gratitude exercise. I focused on things around the play, such as being grateful that I had a role with speaking lines and solo singing parts or simply being grateful for the physical ability to be involved in a musical. I would also send love to the person who got the role I wanted, after all, she had done nothing to deserve my frustration and jealousy. With these simple exercises, I was able to calm most of these unpleasant feelings within a few weeks.

At around the same time I was able to let go of my anger, I received a phone call from the director informing me that a lead actor had to drop out and they wanted me to take over the role. It was not the role I had originally wanted…it was an even better role! First of all, this character was a terrible dancer so I didn’t have to stress about the dancing. Even more exciting was that she sang many songs, including the songs I had wanted to sing from the start and these new songs were in the perfect vocal range for me. Since this character was suppose to be older than I am, I had never even considered auditioning for the role, yet in the end the part kind of fell into my lap.

I truly feel that by processing my feelings in a healthy, productive way, the universe opened a door for me that I never would have thought about going through. Sometimes we limit ourselves by holding on too tightly to what we want, not realizing that there is something better in store for us if we just let go.

We all shine, so share the light!